To the Leaders of the Free World, consider using a “time-out”.

To the Leaders of the Free World, consider using a “time-out”

There were times as a student where I experienced a time-out. Standing in the corner, or my nose to the chalkboard, and the extreme time when my sixth grade teacher sent the whole class outside to march up and down the sidewalk while he got some work done.

But that was so long ago, I needed to refresh my memory, so I “Googled-it”. I found this site in my search:

According to the site: “Time-out means time out from positive reinforcement (rewarding experiences). It is a procedure used to decrease undesirable behaviors. The main principle of this procedure is to ensure that the individual in time-out is not able to receive any reinforcement for a particular period of time.


Dear world leaders, there is a child in charge of the most powerful military in the world and you need to put him in time-out, he has already demonstrated undesirable behaviors and should not be rewarded.

According to the site, you should set up a time-out area, “The time-out area should be easily accessible, and in such a location that the child can be easily monitored while in time-out.” 

Thankfully we already have many towers we can keep him in, easily identified with his name. Please use your sovereign funds to pay for his residence as that would expedite his departure from the world stage through impeachment (see Article I, Section 9, Clause 8 of the United States Constitution).

The amount of time spent in time-out, is generally based on age. According to the site, “Children from 2 – 5 years old should receive a 2 to 5 minute time-out. A 6 year old child should probably receive about a 5 minute time-out while a 10 year old child would receive a 10 minute time-out. A general guideline can be: 6-8 years of age, 5 minutes; 8-10 years of age, 10 minutes; 10-14 years of age, 10 to 20 minutes.

Generally the amount of time doubles every 5 years. So starting at 5 minutes for a 5 year old, a 70 year old would be 2 to the sixteenth power times 5, divide that by 60 to get the hours,  divide that by 24 to get the days. The answer is 227.5 days.

What would happen if you just ignored him for that time? What would happen if you did not take his phone calls? You and he have ministers and sub-ministers for that, but do not give him the attention he wants. What would happen if you didn’t invite him to your golf courses. What would happen if you did not allow him to meet your queen? What would happen if you did not give him the right time for the G7 or G20 photo? Or better yet, don’t invite him to the Group of 7 with the rest of the cool kids, invite Jerry Brown instead.

It is important that you specify the target behaviors that need to change. According to the site, “It is very important the child be aware of the behaviors that are targeted for reduction.

So phrase your conversations so he understands his errors in judgement:

  • “Donald, breaking trade deals is bad. Sorry, you can no longer visit the queen.”
  • “Donald, denying climate change is wrong. We are going to turn your golf course into a nature preserve.”
  • “Donald, banning refugees is not a good idea. We are going to turn your branded hotels and resorts into refugee centers.”

Dear world leaders, you might also want to consider this from the site:

Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.

-just might work in his case

By the way, parents, don’t use any of this advice on your kids. Give them a hug and listen.

2 Replies to “To the Leaders of the Free World, consider using a “time-out”.”

  1. ha!

    you know, I have been thinking about this in a classroom context as well, but more in terms of American voters. Each new quarter, my HSE classes would establish our "community expectations" for each other. The details would change each term, but the overall principles were pretty consistent: no disrespect, listening, helping each other, etc.

    Like most things in the classroom, the idea wasn't so much the expectations, per se, as the process of discussing them and agreeing together as a community. It feels like the U.S. electorate could use a lot more of this, at a community level, rather than having our political proxies battle each other in our names.

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